I donāt mean any disrespect when someone says āI know how you feelā or ā I feel thatā and my response is āno you donāt.ā
Iām sorry Iām not sorry but you could never EMPATHIZE with a āarmyā of people doing everything to I assume take me down. You could never feel one of your 4 best friends betray you to the point of electrocution. I still canāt wrap my head around it. Reasoning? Still unknown. For no reason on my part. No disagreement ect nothing.
Youāll never know what it feels like for that to happen realize you died and came back to life and still get lied to about what happened.
No you donāt know what itās like to not trust anything but yourself. You donāt know what itās like going thru hell screaming for help and have no one respond. While a friend is going thru a similar situation and getting support out the ass.
Have you ever been held hostage by someone so evil he wanted to keep you from everyone including your family? Do you know what itās like to get abandoned by everyone but 3 people in your life? And have them 3 people die too early for you.
Sorry not sorry you canāt imagine my pain. The pain that doesnāt hurt no more cause your so used to it and itās so intense. I could write produce and direct a movie and MAYBE then you could fathom the idea of what Iām speaking of.
Betrayal, privacy violations on all degrees, targeted, alienated, abandoned, gaslight for years.
I appreciate your sentiments I really do. I donāt wish my pain on anyone else. Even the ones who caused it. I know people think Iām losing my mind cause Iāve always been crazy, but itās not like they think. Iām surviving each day as they come. Yes Iām totally fucked up. But Iām aware of my reality.
Strugglin', I'm tryna find my way Fightin', I'm havin' battles with faith They criticize me and speak on my name But perfect's somethin' that I'll never be Yeah I remember days back as a kid They was hatin', sayin' I was never gonna be nothin' dope (pow) They was sayin' I was never gonna make it They would try to put me in a headlock, had me by the throat (never) They would say I was a little boy, snot-nose Wrong path, I was dodgin' all the potholes Syndrome they diagnosed called Stockholm Goin' through hŠµll, was walkin' on the hot coals Mama said I was a special case And dŠµmons talk to those we cannot replace That the world was a hell and test of faith To crown those who would walk to the heavens gates So I'd sit and wait Face to face with those who would try to break my mental state Then take all the hurt and pain and paint barbells I'd use Just to shoulder weight now my strength Got the people askin', like, "Who's stoppin' him? We ain't never seen a nigga this poppin' Without that garbage that be brainwashin' 'em" So every time I get a chance, I'm bombin' the verbal vomit Is tick-tick-tockin' 'em into a coffin Your 15 seconds is up, be Giannis The bucks you chase couldn't chip my commas I digest greats and I paid my homage (yeah) Fuck cheese, what I'm spittin' is nachos Niggas didn't believe I was spittin' the gospel Now they gotta receive, take a swig of the hot sauce Bow and get on they knees 'cause these verses Picasso I won't fold, yes, I got my soul Every bar I throw is a strike, I bowl They won't pin me, no, I won't spare or go Down the path they chose, I'ma bring them home Strugglin', I'm tryna find my way Fightin', I'm havin' battles with faith They criticize me and speak on my name But perfect's somethin' that I'll never be Strugglin', I'm tryna find my way (find a way) Fightin', I'm havin' battles with faith (havin' battles with faith) They criticize me and speak on my name (let me speak on my name) But perfect's somethin' that I'll never be Now I'm a veteran, uh They didn't know they was fuckin' 'round wit' a specimen Many men tried to get me, but my adrenaline Came in so heavy that I was able to take on ten of them Every battle was won, I made them irrelevant The screams loud, the cries of men deafenin' I told 'em all I was sorry and that I'm heaven-sent But if I gotta kill 'em, then fuck it, I'll go to hell again Now I'm straight drivin' it, uh (skrrt) I see demons pull up outside To the left and the right, tryna get up inside So I gas every beat and let 'em know what I'm vibin' with Don't give me that paper, I'm not signin' it I see the evil, you niggas ain't disguisin' it I'm sick wit' it, not talkin' about sinuses If they wanna puppet, I'm throwin' a peace sign to it Ate the hate, then put it the game in reverse Built a base, engaged and through the flames I emerged (go) Grabbed the gates of hell to close then turned To the devil's face, and said we are adjourned Every cell and each and every single nerve In my body jumped as I began to purge Then I hit the bend and sped around the curve To the sign that said, "Return back up to earth" Now they haunt me, can't get up off me Wakin' the people up like some c-c-c-coffee Devil knows what I'm doing so he tryin' to stop me Braking the chains of mental slaves On the path less chose, went against the grain Everybody fuckin' knows Dax the next to reign Anybody who oppose burns then heats the flame Throws and seeks the sheep, then begin to change Strugglin', I'm tryna find my way Fightin', I'm havin' battles with faith They criticize me and speak on my name But perfect's somethin' that I'll never be Strugglin', I'm tryna find my way (find a way) Fightin', I'm havin' battles with faith (I'm havin' battles with faith) They criticize me and speak on my name (let me speak on my name) But perfect's somethin' that I'll never be
shoudn't take things so serious I don't think they mean any harm But it would sicken you too If it happened to you And you had to relive every part Here come the flashbacks And the panic attacks How long does that shit last I'm losing myself by the day see And I know you all think that I'm crazy That the demons that show up At the foot of my bed Are just figments from memories That fucked up my head That night terrors ain't nothin But a real bad dream So quit being a God Damn drama queen I seal myself in a sound proof room So no one can hear how loud I scream But you don't think it's as bad as it seems Cause you've never dealt with PTSD Frozen in your track Take a visit to the past To see the devils dirty deed Leave a mark all down your back I can't even be around cigarettes You know how many people smoke? Approximately one billion And just about everybody I know You think you know but you don't When someone's broke you can't just heavy sigh And roll your eyes Like if they ain't physically ill Then they must be a liar But wouldn't you recede to the fire If everything around you became a threat And everyone surrounding you said GET OVER IT It becomes unbearable to live in So listen Triggers are relentless They ain't gonna quit They don't go away just cause you don't Believe it Reliving each nightmare on an everyday basis I don't think I can do this I don't think I can take this Frozen in your tracks Take a visit to the past To see the devils dirty deed Leave a mark all down your back Frozen in your tracks Take a visit to the past To see the devils dirty deed Leave a mark all down your back You sent my mind on fire Sparks flying I'm rewired You left me no desire Broken and uninspired I feel you all conspire Left all alone with liars Hopeless so I get higher And higher till I'm tired And there's no reminder Of what I'm crying for Cause I can't fucking do this anymore Frozen in your tracks Take a visit to the past Repay the devils dirty deed With a gash all down his back You set my mind on fire Sparks flying I'm rewired You left me no desire Broken and uninspired Hopeless so I get higher And higher till I'm tired And there is no reminder Of what I'm crying for I can't do this anymore What am I even fighting for?
Nobody is Alone 
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